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Reply #1 and #2 Post has no errors in spelling, grammar, sentence structure, etc. Demonstrates analysis of others’ posts; extends meaningful discussion by building on previous posts
Multiple points from multiple participants clearly built upon/refuted in postings
******In your response posts, review the email example of a classmate. Based on their suggestions and ideas of your own, revise the provided business communication utilizing the suggestions provided in Chapter 4Revising Business Messages. *****
Reply #1:My coworker email follows as,
Just FYI i was CCd on this from _________ . This is for the hauling of my equipment. Can you please look into this? I believe I uploaded the documents for this. If you can please check so we can move this process along. Thanks
Another one of their emails is as follows,
Also, I am being told the inventories have been created. I AM HAVING TROUBLE PULLING MINE. I’m not sure what to do with this.
Their messages are not clear and does not give much information to refer too. They also have punctuation errors and are not well organized. The sender did not proofread the message to catch any mistakes. The received messages are very ineffective and actually creates more work for the receiver. The messages are not efficient or easy to read. They do not state what they want, and if they want someone to check if they actually uploaded the documents or if they have been filled out correctly? Many times the sender writes in all capitalized letters and just does not give much information. Then I spend a lot of time responding and just trying to figure out what they are actually needing. It is as if they intend to just send the message then by sending an email it is now not their problem.
This coworker clearly has the most issues with learning outcomes 4&5, “identifying proofreading problem areas” and evaluating a message in order to judge its effectiveness (Guffey et al, 87)
Reply #2: Subject: TECH ALERT – Customer information
Team,
We are getting reports of technician’s sending up tickets with improper information for customers. When taking any call please ask clarifying questions to the customers to ensure all the proper information is being sent forward. if you cannot find the account, if you are unsure of what the proper spelling of the address / name is, it is better to ask to be sure, then to send forward blindly. Getting the proper address laid out is essential to getting the customer’s trouble resolved as quickly as possible.This is also useful to employees who are new to the area and wouldn’t know if the address is real or not. If you have any questions regarding this tech alert, please reach out to a supervisor or lead.
In this business email sent above, I think the communication could have improved by dropping flabby words/fillers and eliminating long sentences. Email was not proofread before sending because I found a few grammatical errors and empty spaces. Sender could have used a bulleted list so readers could grasp main points quickly. “By breaking up complex information into smaller chunks, lists improve readability, understanding, and retention.” (Guffey, M.E., & Loewy, D. (2018), P. 97) In this chapter, I am learning the importance of proofreading vs revision. It is important to proofread, read your text aloud and get assistance if needed.
Reply #3 and #4 Post has no errors in spelling, grammar, sentence structure, etc. Demonstrates analysis of others’ posts; extends meaningful discussion by building on previous posts
Multiple points from multiple participants clearly built upon/refuted in postings
*****Based on the information provided by your classmates, discuss in your response posts if you know of a company that communicates in a similar way. How is it similar or different from the example provided in the original post? Based on the information in Chapter 5, do you see any way this company could improve its communication? *****
Reply #3:My apartment complex uses a website that has a social media layout. On this website we are able to view upcoming events, submit a service request, and even reserve an amenity. On this site the apartment managers are able to make posts to inform our community. Every time a post is made everyone gets an email about it. The managers are pretty active on this website. We all get “daily digest” messages with a community status report and urging us to log in on the website. I think its an effective way to communicate with the tenants but it would be better if it was a mobile application with color coded notifications. Everyone has a smartphone that they check constantly. Even if people were to ignore a notification they would still see part of the message so they would know if its important. They could also reduce the daily digest messages to weekly. Too many emails from one place can be annoying and come off as spam mail. I almost missed an email regarding my lease because I thought it was spam. Things like leasing information should be face to face or a phone call. An email is more appropriate for short, informal messages that request information and respond to inquiries not a lease with rent increases (Guffey 2018 p.116). If something is urgent and its been almost a week with no respond to an email a phone call might be a better move. Sometimes my apartment complex places notes on our doors for inspections or important maintenance taking place on the premises which is extremely effective.
Reply #4:Prior to my retirement, I worked in the law enforcement career field. The typical type of communication is in person when it comes to officers speaking to the general public, radio communications when communicating back to a dispatch center or with other officers, and cell phones. Information from within the department though usually will come from in person briefings, emails, training classes, written memorandums, and written incident reports.
Most agencies also have an active community policing policy. Community policing is a philosophy that promotes organizational strategies that support the systematic use of partnerships and problem-solving techniques to proactively address the immediate conditions that give rise to public safety issues such as crime, social disorder, and fear of crime (United States Department of Justice, 2012). Social media sites such as Facebook have become a powerful tool in community policing, allowing agencies to spread information to a wide audience in a short period of time. It is not uncommon today to see agencies post information daily about what is going on within the department and the community as a whole.
I do not feel there should be any reduction in any forms of communication in law enforcement. In this line of work, all forms of communication, both internally and externally, are essential to ensure the legal and successful operation of the department. Clear and concise communications ensures efficiency and assists in keeping communities safe. If anything, communications should be increased any way that will help departments adequately perform their duties.

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